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Holidays 1998 |
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Alzheimer's Support Network News |
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As I See It . . . From Chuck's Desk Dear Friends, Here come the holidays -- that stressful, emotionally charged time of year full of "shoulds:" I should send cards to everyone; I should buy the perfect presents; I should bake cookies. Where do these "shoulds" come from? Many of us have seen the funny videotape by Loretta LaRoche called "The Joy of Stress: How to Prevent Hardening of the Attitude." LaRoche talks about "your committee." Who's on "the committee?" These are the people -- real or imaginary -- who "live" in our minds and "judge" us, causing stress and guilt. This holiday season, lets try to add some people who really understand what we are going through to our "committee." Let's think of our "committee" of judges of whether we are doing what we "should" be doing as other caregivers. Would they "give us a break" if we didn't send any cards at all this year? They might say, "I don't feel up to doing it either. I'm going to give myself permission to answer the newsy cards slowly after the holidays -- if I am up to it." Add the people at the Alzheimer's Support Network to your committee -- especially if you need to actually hear the words, "Don't put 'shoulds' on yourself. Do what is comfortable for you." Attend a support group meeting and test how this feels. Tell the group, for example, "I feel so guilty because _________." Watch the heads nod around the table and listen to people who have "been there -- done that" tell you how they manage through this difficult time of year. Or call us. We'll listen. We won't judge. And we'll try to help you to let go of your self-judgmental thoughts. These same principles apply all year. Caregivers need to take care of themselves and consider what is best for their loved one. The "committee" in your mind that makes you feel guilty and stressed needs to be cleaned out of those who don't understand and refreshed with people who have your best interests and those of your loved one in mind. This holiday season, toss out the "shoulds" and look for thoughts and activities that help you find peace and joy. The staff, volunteers and Board of the Alzheimer's Support Network wish you a meaningful holiday season. Chuck Pollard In this issue: A Note From Suky About Elephant Fest Up Close and Personal: The Long Goodbye Handling the Holidays Creatively Positive Attitude Exercise for the Holidays Please click here to continue reading |
